I am writing this in a slightly depressed state.
The Great Firewall imposed by the Chinese government should also share some blame for my blog’s obscurity. These days GFW is blocking my handful of readers off my blog (it seems all wordpress blogs get the same treatment). Even when it is not blocked, the crappy Internet connection in Mainland can be so bad that it can be considered effectively blocked. Once I tried writing in Sina blog. Censorship in mainland is so annoying that I don’t bother to do it. This is the link to my blog on Sina which has not been updated for a while : http://blog.sina.com.cn/cain1jw.
Though my major is physics, I seldom wrote anything about it, nor did I write anything about science. Mostly I wrote about philosophy. Not long ago I realized I didn’t and still don’t know much about philosophy. I will avoid writing philosophy from now on and will only write things that I am familiar. These days I rarely had the urge to write, which is a symptom of mild depression.
The reason why I care my blog so much is that I was not popular and I am still not popular. If you think this reason is a bit shallow, I will immediately provide you another one: my world is always small. I don’t know why but I am always ending up living in a small world, so small that sometimes I felt suffocated. My blog should have been a door to a larger world but my blog has failed me.
So frustrating… so depressing…